I think I forget I can write. not so much well, but that I have the ability to. Whenever I don't even know what's wrong but something just feels off, I forget I can write it out. I can at least get these scrambled thoughts out of my head so they no longer have to reside there. I'm having a hard time being content when I'm not busy or surrounded by noise or things. Even now as I write, it was killing me to sit in silence so i had to turn on some music. (brooke fraser)--look her up, she's amazing! : )
-- It's sorta crazy to me how, as humans, we can annoy ourselves more than other people. I mean think about it, how often do you think, "wow, why in the world did I just do that" or "seriously, i've been watching idiotic reality TV shows for 5 hours straight?" sadly, it's too often for me. Why is it that we lack motivation and find ourselves doing the saaaaammmee junk day in and day out. In psychology we talked about the theories of motivation like what causes it or inhibits people from being motivated and I honestly don't think anyone really knows. I think it's ultimately our human nature, BUT we have the power to overcome the inability to move we just choose not to a lot of the time unfortunately. I have these kicks of motivation every once in a while that I believe are God given, like I'll totally fix the world today, and slowly i honestly try to...but i loose the fire and kinda stop trying so hard. I guess it's just how it goes? Is there any real way to over come that?? Will we always lve in a roller coaster? I think yes. And that's okay with me, I guess I'll just have to wait for heaven to remain fully content : )
--on a lighter note. things really have been going well. HOPEFULLY i'll be moving in with april and lacey in a few months to city parc. www.cityparc.com check em out, they're awesome! Family is still doing well. Aunt tricia is moving into my room shortly and I'll be moving into anthonys old room and i think mom is wanting to make half of the garage anthonys room/music room. That'll be exciting : ) Taylor and I are AMAZING. He truly is a wonderful servant for the king. The way he loves the Lord reflects in the way he loves people and I'm just the blessed girl who gets to experience his love to the fullest!-well not completely BUT as much as he possibly can show now. Sometimes I'm scared to say that he could be the one, but lately I really feel the Lord whispering those thoughts to me more and more. One thing that has really been eating at me lately is the order in which people have to do things anymore. I mean who's to says I HAVE to finish school before I'm engaged or married. I honestly don't know what the Lord wants for me right now regarding that issue BUT who's to say it couldn't be that! I just hope and pray that if the Lord does lead me to make a certain decision I would have the guts and willingness to listen to HIS voice over the world's "norms."
-- ..well i sure feel better. peace <3
In the autumn on the ground, between the traffic and the ordinary sounds
I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through
I watch as lovers pass me by
Walking stories - whos and hows and whys
Musing lazily on love
Pondering you
I'll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell
When it's time to walk that way we wanna walk it well
[CHORUS]
I'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting til we're ready, til it's right
Love is waiting
It's my caution not the cold
There's no other hand that I would rather hold
The climate changes, I'm singing for the strangers about you
Don't keep time, slow the pace
Honey hold on if you can
The bets are getting surer now that you're my man
[CHORUS]
[BRIDGE]
I could write a million songs about the way you say my name
I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again
And like I can't force the sun to rise or hasten summer's start,
neither should I rush my way into your heart
...love is waiting-brooke fraser
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
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